Legolas, prince of Mirkwood

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Attack of the Cows: Part Two

We join our hero, Pippin, in Minas Tirith, which has been wheeled into a giant warehouse.

Suddenly, over a loudspeaker, the cow king speaks to the surviving defenders of Gondor:

"Attention K-mart shoppers, frisbees are on sale in the sporting goods section for only $1.99. Now kill the remaining humans in this pitiful city."

The Cows began rushing upward to finish off our hero and his companions. Like Boromir.

Yes, Boromir. And Robin Williams.
Then, just as death for Pippin and Boromir and Robin and that butterfly was imminent, a miracle came down from the heavens, and a voice said from above: "Gold leader standing by. Lock s-foils in attack position."
Rebel X-wings clashed with the cow minions as they emerged in an epic battle. The cows were no match for these rebel starfighters. But then, just as the tide of the battle was turning, the cow king, the most powerful and evil of all cows, came out to reinforce his soldiers.
From his massive hooves he shot flaming projectiles that were quite capable of destroying an X-wing.

The battle was going ill for our heros when the ground started to shake. A hole formed in the ground right out side of Minas Tirith. Out from the hole came a massive horde of....


Saturday, August 19, 2006


Otters aren't just awesome, they're ottsome.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Attack of the cows

The cows are attacking!!! The cows are attacking!!! They've been breeding an army-
-and now they're attacking Minas Tirith!
Yes, Gandalf run!!! Even you are no match for these hell bovines!!! And then, a, uh...oh I know! Next an epic battle begins when the brave soldiers of Gondor rush to defend their home!

(those aren't orcs-they're really cows) As the battle progresses, Gondor's feeble army is forced to retreat to the higher levels of the city. Now in control of the lower city, the cows start to put Minas Tirith on a big giant cart and wheeling it to....a giant warehouse!!!!

And it is there waiting for them that lurks....wait, there..waiting...does that sentence make any sense? Speaking of which, does any of this? Anyway in the warehouse is....the evil cow king!!!!!!!! Willour hero make it out...wait, I never established a main character, did I? Well, it was, uh, Pippin. Will he make it out alive? Find out next week! Or whenever I feel like making the next post.