Legolas, prince of Mirkwood

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Cows are evil.

Cows are evil. Keep that in mind.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Pipe with Pip

The other day Pippin and I decided to smoke our pipes. We were smoking for about an hour when I said,"Hey, let's go mess with people!"
"Ok," he said.
First cam Sam's house. Remembering the joke that was played on him in the winter we decided to fill his room with a bunch of snow. But then we realized it was the middle of June, so we poured melted snow in his house.
Next was Frodo's house.
"Hey!!!" said Pippin,"lets get a bunch of pepperoni slices and stick them to his windows so he can't see out of his house!!!"
So we bought a bunch of pepperoni and stuck it to his windows.
Next came Merry's house. We wrote "I wear short shorts" in his front lawn in gasoline and set it on fire. We didn't realize he was home, and he came out and yelled at us a little, but then joined us.
Next was Aragorn and Arwen's house. He he he. First, we filled up their mailbox with dry leaves, and set them on fire. Then we snuck in and exchanged all of Aragorn's underwear with thongs and put mice in Arwen's sock drawer. I think I might have passed out after that because the last thing I remember is this:


Thursday, June 15, 2006

Next time I'll seek

I've been hiding for a month. A MONTH. Ok, here's what happened: About a month ago, me and Aragorn started playing hide and go seek. It was his turn to seek. Before he started counting, I had the perfect hiding place picked out. So when he closed his eyes, I took the lampshad off the nearest lamp, put it on my head, and stood behind him about a foot away. He counted to 50, or maybe it was 100, then he said "Ready or not, here I come!" He kind of stood there for a moment looked behind him and looked straight at me three times, THREE TIMES, before he took a ham sandwich out of his pocket and ate it. Then he went outside to look for me, got distracted by something shiney, threw a shovel at a tree, ate another sandwich, and started to run away towards the shire singing The Llama Song. Well, that night, when Arwen came home, she thought I was a lamp, so she tried clicking me on by pulling my hair. After a moment, she realized it was me and kept pulling my hair.
"Psst, Arwen," I said,"stop it! You're going to give away my hiding place to Aragorn!"
At this, she started pulling even harder and more ruthlessly. Afer about 4 hours or so she got bord of it and stopped and went to bed. I, being a lamp, had to sleep standing up with a lampshade on my head. This went on for the next few days, until one day Pippin walked up to me and said:
"Hi, Legolas, are you almost done with my bacon?"
"Pippin, that was over a month ago"
He smiled and nodded. "So is that a yes or a no?"
"*sigh* I'll make you a deal, Pip. Go tell Aragorn I'm here and I'll make you a whole pound of bacon."
"A whole pound!?! I'll go get Aragorn right now!"
The next day, Pippin came back.
"Hi, legolas," he said,"are you almost done with my bacon?"
"Did you tell Aragorn where I am?"
he looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face. "So is that a yes or a no?"
Seeing as to how hopeless Pippin really was, I told him to go away.
The next day he came back and asked the same thing. And he did it every day after today, and Arwen pulled my hair for 4 hours each night. It sure would be nice if Aragorn came and found me now! (HINT HINT) Well, I'll be here in Aragorn and Arwen's room until then.