Legolas, prince of Mirkwood

Sunday, January 29, 2006

The Party


Some party last night, huh? There was lots of beer and fireworks. Well, Merry and Pippin got drunk and started dancing around on this table singing about the Green Dragon. Then Merry started stabbing the wall with his sword a bunch. Faramir came with Eowen, only she was dressed like a man (as usual) so we all made fun of Faramir for going out with a man. Well, Gimli, Aragorn, and I thought it would be a good idea to get one of those Gondor trebuchets and shoot it randomly down into the city. It was a good idea, until we accidently destroyed Arwen's private appartment. Me and Aragorn hid behind a building when she came out, and Gimli hid in the middle of the street. She picked him up by the beard and tossed him into a nearby wall. Frodo got drunk and put on one of my pink dresses and told us all to call him 'Mrs. Nezbit.' Borimir started shooting bottle rockets at random people on the street, and this one guy shot him 3 times and cut his horn of Gondor thingy in half. Gandalf got drunk and thought Mordor was attacking again and he took Pippin and started riding around yelling at soldiers. Sam brought Rosie and lots of extra brandy. I drank it all and got really really drunk. From what I can remember, the rest of the evening went something like this:

Some party, huh? Someone should start a Pippin blog

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Party tonight

Today is Saturday, January 28. The Party is tonight at 7 at my apartment in Minas Tirith. There will be lots of beer. Everyone is invited.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The other day I woke up at 4 am to find Faramir standing at the foot of my bed and he was growling or something. He was trying to hide from me, and he was kind of mad when he saw me look straight at him when I woke up.

"Faramir, what are you doing?" I said.

"I thought we would have a toast," he said.

"To what?"

"I found a treasure map," he said.

"Can't this wait until later?"

"No"

"So what did you bring to toast with then?"

"I brought somehing special that I've been saving for years," he said. He pulled out this smelly tray of old McDonalds and threw it down on my bed. I almost threw up.

"That is completely disgusting. Just show me this map of yours."

He pulled out this piece of notebook paper with all this weird writing on it.

"It looks like you drew this yourself. And you didn't even write the whole thing. You just made a bunch of stupid dots."

"Well, I didn't want anyone else to get off with my treasure."

"There isn't treasure just because you say there is, Faramir. This map is hokey."

Faramir got so mad at this that he stormed out of the room, leaving the map and McDonalds with me. I ate the McDonalds and passed out for 7 hours. Then I started to decode Faramir's map. I'm almost done now and soon that treasure will be mine. What a sucker. Any suggestions of what I should spend it on?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I would try and think of a title for this, but I'm too lazy

Well, I had a good christmas and new years. For Christmas I got a new hairbrush and Gimli got a mini horse so now he doesn't have to ride with me anymore. For new years I drank a bunch of non alcoholic beer and thought I was drunk. I ran around naked a bit (except for the gloves I was wearing) and the police started coming after me. I think it was because they fell madly in love with me.

Anyway the grass on the Pelannor fields in front of Minas Tirith got long the other day, and Gandalf told me to go cut it. I didn't feel like it, so I made Gimli do it. I guess it was too much for him because I think he had a heart attack or something. I wonder what they did with all the bodies from that big battle thingy there. Like how did they move the bid dead elephant things? Oh, and Aragorn, if you get this, why is Minas Tirith called the white city? Is it racist or something? I still haven't found out how they get those little ships in the glass bottles.